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People are sometimes drawn to people who are different. Do opposites really attract in relationships?

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by Apprentice (1.7k points)

Opposites do not necessarily attract in romantic relationships. The article you listed claims that opposites may initially attract due to the excitement of differences, such as when one partner is a world class snowboarder while the other is an accountant (the two lead very different lives). The appeal can also come from the thrill of the forbidden, like a relationship with someone from a different class or cultural background than what their family would prefer. However, the article suggests that a relationship based solely on differing backgrounds, without emotional connection or common interests, is unlikely to thrive. 

I found another study performed by the Anglia Ruskin University that reinforces the claim that individuals who are polar opposites typically do not attract each other. The paper argues that notion that "opposites attract" is largely a myth. A recent analysis of over 45,000 digital footprints consistently shows how people are more likely to be attracted to those who share similar attitudes and personalities as them, as individuals prefer consistency and validation in their beliefs. Although some psychologists might argue that a degree of dissimilarity can promote personal growth, the overall consensus from decades of research is clear: individuals often seek out partners with similar qualities and attitudes as them. This, as the researchers of this study explained, is what usually leads to long lasting relationships. 

False
by Novice (970 points)
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I appreciate that you sourced another study to cross-reference this claim against. I also appreciate the reliability of the study you linked due to its authorship by Viren Swami, Professor of Psychology and critically acclaimed social sciences author. (Info sourced from his "About" page, https://www.aru.ac.uk/people/viren-swami).
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by Newbie (280 points)

The notion that "opposites attract" is a captivating concept frequently portrayed in movies and various media. However, is there truth to this idea? This article delves into several reasons why individuals with contrasting personalities may be drawn to one another. One key reason is the thrill of novelty; someone who differs significantly from you might initially seem intriguing and exciting, capturing your attention in a way that feels fresh and invigorating. In the early stages of dating, the novelty of these differences can create a unique dynamic, often resulting in less conflict as you both navigate the learning curve of understanding each other's distinct perspectives.

The article highlights both the advantages and drawbacks of pursuing a relationship with someone markedly different from yourself. On the positive side, such relationships can promote personal growth as partners teach one another new things and learn to find a balance through compromise. This exposure to differing viewpoints can foster patience and broaden your horizons. However, these relationships are not without complications. The potential for disagreements increases when partners hold contrasting views, and discovering divergent lifelong goals can create a rift. Moreover, these relationships often demand heightened communication to bridge the gaps in understanding.

While the article presents compelling reasons to consider why opposites might attract, it also posits that this idea may be more myth than reality. Without deep, substantive bonds, the likelihood of such relationships thriving diminishes significantly. Michael Kosinski, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, conducted a study to explore online interactions, revealing that individuals with similar interests naturally gravitate toward each other. While differing interests, such as music tastes, can indeed enrich relationships, partners who lack alignment in core values, personality traits, and life goals face significant challenges in sustaining a lasting connection. Thus, the importance of shared foundational elements cannot be overstated when it comes to nurturing successful relationships.

https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-true-that-opposites-attract-in-relationships-5194818

by Apprentice (1.7k points)
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This is an excellent summary of the article's findings. You've done a great job capturing the study's contents. However, it would be helpful to clarify at the beginning whether you believe the claim is true or false. Additionally, you might want to fact-check the VeryWellMind article using another reliable source for further validation. I find these sources to be particularly compelling:
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220308-opposites-attract-why-the-adage-is-obsolete
https://www.aru.ac.uk/research/impact-and-case-studies/more-than-skin-deep/why-opposites-rarely-attract#:~:text=For%20decades%2C%20psychologists%20and%20sociologists,the%20early%20stages%20of%20relationships

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